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I'​M NOT OKAY! (BUT THAT'S OKAY!)

the first time I sensed something was wrong

I took the lead for once, only to find that I was lost

and then this last time, I thought I’d found it all

but what I seek—even to me—is still a mystery

 

so when the hard times come back around again

“let the clock unwind,” I tell myself again

“just give it all time to solve itself in the end”

“I can’t control what I don’t know, it’s not my fault at all!”

 

I’m not okay!

(but who has time to be?)

I’m on my way!

(or so I like to think)

I’m not okay!

(I’ll probably never be)

I’m not okay!

but that’s okay!

that’s how it ought to be!

 

I’m not okay!

I'm not okay!

 

now this time, I think I’ve got a grip

victory’s mine for the first time in all of history

WHAT AM I SAYING?! I’m always bound to slip

the pain persists, and ‘cause of this I’m still a pessimist

 

so when the hard times come back around again

it’s not quite a surprise, but at least the waiting ends

I’ve been waiting all night to feel like myself again

‘cause in daytime, I commit crimes of acting like I’m fine!

 

I’m not okay!

(but when I’m not alone)

pain goes away!

(or becomes bearable)

I’m not okay!

(don’t leave me on my own)

I’m not okay!

but that’s okay!
no matter what, it shows

that I’m not okay!

 

I’m not okay!

 

I know I’ve lost it

I’m beyond my own control

but one thing’s constant:

solitude feels like home

I thought for once it might seem it gets better than this

that pain and misery might cease and desist...

 

okay...

 

I’m not okay!

(not even almost yet)

another day

(is insufferable at best!)

I’m not okay!

(and I’ll be one to forget)

I’m not okay!

I’m not okay!

I’m not okay!

 

I’m not okay!

(it’s how I’m meant to be)

I disobey!

(it’s what comes naturally)

I’m not okay!

(and never will be, it seems)

I’m not okay!

but that’s okay!

it’s nothing new to me!

 

I’m not okay!

I’m not okay!

I’m not okay!

I’m not okay!

I’m not okay!

I’m not okay!

(okay... I'll be fine eventually)

but it's okay!

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